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To love without the ties.

As I watch this beautiful sun from the window of my room this afternoon, I can't help but think of love and the people I love and the different ways in which I love them. Do you even realize that you love your people differently? I don't know how many ways there are, I'm here to talk about those I know.  There are people I love enough to talk to everyday. There are those I go a while without a text or a call but when we talk? Oh boy, distance and time just has nothing on us. There are people I love to gift. Getting them things or taking care of them gives me the greatest pleasure. There are people I love to touch. I love to hug them, hold their hand or even literally lean against them while having a conversation. And there's this very special category that I want to talk the most about; the people I love just because I love them.  See, all these relationships I talked about up there are maintained or nurtured by something. The physical touch, the gifts, the calls, the t...
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It's not about motivation. It's about just showing up.

This week my soul mourns. It broods over how far in life I could have been or what I could have achieved had I just showed up and did stuff, especially when I didn't feel motivated to. That has been the big deal lately; motivation.  I don't know if you've ever woken up with absolutely no will to live for days on end. It's more than just being lethargic or lazy. No will to live. It's such an impossible thing to describe. To have nothing to look forward to except for a few recipes to try out. Except for a few chapters of a book that passed the vibe check or a few episodes of a series. It looks like being so uninterested in lots of things; things that once were grounding or fulfilling. Things that once sparked a fire. It looks like a slow fade, literally being eaten away. It's still impossible to describe.  And so I look into motivation. Only to find out that the only way out is to proceed and carry on without it. That it comes from doing. You show up and it catche...

Too good to title:)

This week, I'm simply thinking out loud. It's not the generic doctrine of "you should.." or "we talk about.." Just ride along with me if you're interested in where this is headed.  I'm thinking a lot about self righteousness. About friendships and how they are perceived lately. About sex and how transactional it is. About winning arguments vs maintaining relationships. About intimacy. About bridges that are being run on disrespect. About narrow mindedness. And about how obligated we are to take care of ourselves (f*ck whoever wants more than we are willing to give) I had an episode earlier this week. I called this "friend" of mine that I go way back with to pick me up if he could because; 1. My hands were kind of tied 2. It'd have been nice to catch up while we were at it. We honestly had some issues to comb through for courtesy's sake.  It was nice of him to consider but it was on a condition; he takes me somewhere private. In his ...

Let yourself look "imperfect" sometimes. It's healthy.

And baby, today we talk about how you don't want to be seen as less than perfect. On your socials. By your friends. By anyone. Are you okay? Who got you to believe that being perfect is the only way you'll be loved and accepted? Who even decides the accepting? Welcome to this week's dose of embrace, it's either soul-deep or nothing. This thought hit me while I scrolled through a couple of WhatsApp status updates not too long ago. You know there are always those contacts that have the fire content all the time. The beautiful pictures taken from all these amazing backgrounds. The lighting is perfect. The outfits are giving and everything along those lines. And these posts happen almost everyday, if you know what I mean. To be honest I'm scared by these people, just like I'm scared by "yes" people; how don't you have your own opinion to anything? I found myself wondering when this person ever curled up in bed, messy hair, pajamas and the whole shebang...