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Let yourself look "imperfect" sometimes. It's healthy.

By Terry Petla

And baby, today we talk about how you don't want to be seen as less than perfect. On your socials. By your friends. By anyone. Are you okay? Who got you to believe that being perfect is the only way you'll be loved and accepted? Who even decides the accepting? Welcome to this week's dose of embrace, it's either soul-deep or nothing.

This thought hit me while I scrolled through a couple of WhatsApp status updates not too long ago. You know there are always those contacts that have the fire content all the time. The beautiful pictures taken from all these amazing backgrounds. The lighting is perfect. The outfits are giving and everything along those lines. And these posts happen almost everyday, if you know what I mean. To be honest I'm scared by these people, just like I'm scared by "yes" people; how don't you have your own opinion to anything? I found myself wondering when this person ever curled up in bed, messy hair, pajamas and the whole shebang and they actually cried or just looked like death itself. Or just woke up at 10am and did nothing only for them to take a shower at 5pm or not take one at all. Do y'all ever wake up and have absolutely no will to live and admit to yourselves that you're operating on the barest of minimums and feel absolutely no shame in owning to it? Better yet, do you allow people to see it? That's what this conversation is about today. Whether you allow people to see your pain and how imperfectly beautiful you are.

I don't say all this because I delight in your pain. Far from it. myself, I'm a person that loves to dress up. One of my favorite things might just be picking outfits and planning dates and taking those unaware beautiful pictures of people, of places. To do nail art and hold wine glasses in the most exotic of ways to show it off. I live for it. But never will you find me using that whole setting to cover up for how imperfect I feel at a certain point in life. There's simply too much beauty in falling apart or slowing down that I could never give up for anything. And I think you should too. You should let yourself look like you've been electrocuted and take a picture or two for a keepsake if that's what you really feel like. Who is pointing fingers? My heart genuinely goes out to you if you live in a setting where you feel watched all the time, where you feel you have to keep up appearances regardless of the brewing storm you feel inside. It must feel so awful and so tiring. Do reach out if you need a shoulder or a hand to hold.

So slow down if you have the precious opportunity to. I don't mean to tell you to quit doing your makeup or dolling up if you always have the energy for it, good for you if you do. post all of it, we are here to compliment you like crazy. But if that energy ever runs low (because at some point it does, it has to) pretty please don't hide behind stuff. Don't lie to yourself of all people. To acknowledge it is one thing, to show it to the world is another. You choose when you show it to the world, you choose when you tell the world anything. Just don't lie to yourself. Don't deny yourself the beauty of falling apart and watching yourself become a whole new amazing human on the other side. 

I love you, and I hope you enjoy what's left of your week. Cheers.


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