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It's not about motivation. It's about just showing up.

By Terry Petla
This week my soul mourns. It broods over how far in life I could have been or what I could have achieved had I just showed up and did stuff, especially when I didn't feel motivated to. That has been the big deal lately; motivation. 

I don't know if you've ever woken up with absolutely no will to live for days on end. It's more than just being lethargic or lazy. No will to live. It's such an impossible thing to describe. To have nothing to look forward to except for a few recipes to try out. Except for a few chapters of a book that passed the vibe check or a few episodes of a series. It looks like being so uninterested in lots of things; things that once were grounding or fulfilling. Things that once sparked a fire. It looks like a slow fade, literally being eaten away. It's still impossible to describe. 
And so I look into motivation. Only to find out that the only way out is to proceed and carry on without it. That it comes from doing. You show up and it catches up later. How hard that is! I kid you not that it's one of the most challenging things. I ponder and see a pattern, lots of new beginnings that came to a premature end because "I don't feel like it". Lots of relationships that were probably good for me but ended because "I don't feel like it". That phrase has cost me a lot now that I look back and has held me back more times than I can count. And my soul broods over it. "4 blog posts this month, " I had said to myself but because I didn't feel like it... 

Once I'm done brooding I'll take it as a challenge and see how far I'll go this time. With everything. I'm smiling at my first try (publishing this when I didn't feel like it) I'm looking forward to the unbreakable systems I'll build this time or what I'll accomplish just because I showed up, especially when I didn't feel like it. I'm excited for the relationships that'll remain because I nurtured them in the times I didn't feel like it. And eventually, I'll move on to doing things when I don't feel ready or scared. Would you love to try it too? Come on, let's try. 

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