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Mustering up courage 101; When choosing you becomes literal.

By Terry Petla
Have you heard about needless suffering? In other words, unnecessary suffering if I may simply state it. I have needlessly suffered for a big chunk of my life. I have been stuck in unsatisfying friendship patterns when all I could have done was say no to lots of things. I have done some unbecoming things when all I could have done was be true to myself and honest that I didn't want to do them. I have put up with people when all I could have done was find a way to tell them that being with them just was suffocating. Simply put, I could have chosen me the entire time.

Let me paint you a picture of what choosing you is like. You wake up one morning and say "I'd rather be alone than hang out with XYZ where I don't feel accepted." Maybe XYZ is a friend, a group, a boyfriend. So you block them first thing (for those of us who are so quick😂) or just deliberately give them less of your attention. Or if you are even stronger, good for you, tell them upfront that what you have with them is not working for you. You get varying reactions. Some people genuinely don't know how you feel, and you're such a blessed little darling when they want to be better for you because they'd rather they didn't lose you. Terrifying as it is, I recommend that you speak up first. I still tremble in my bones when I have to but it's a much better option than suffering in silence. Some people will think you're just bluffing and maybe for some reason they are convinced that you're not going anywhere, so they offer you an insincere apology. Find it in the way they say it, it could be said with an attitude or very lightheartedly. Find it in whether they really change or keep up the same behavior. And that's where choosing you becomes very literal.

Lovely, you can't keep putting up with the same things and yet expect to live a different life. Choose you for a change, you have to.

Enjoyed reading this? What do you realize you are needlessly suffering through? Let me know in the comments. 
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Comments

  1. AnonymousAugust 29, 2024 at 10:12 AM

    Keeping quiet will always always cost us a lot. I admire people that call out stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 29, 2024 at 12:42 PM

    as long as you give up the "rat race" your good to go

    ReplyDelete

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